Maybe it's me, but I don't like to meet a guy for the very first time and have him refer to me as "sweetie, baby or anything derogative". Yes, I may be old fashion, but how can you call me any of those and you don't know me and I don't know you? But if I was your woman and you were my man, I would love to be called your "Boo, sweetie, baby, honey, etc". Do any other woman have a problem with this or is it just me? Men if you can feel where I'm coming from, feel free to giv  more...

Maybe it's me, but I don't like to meet a guy for the very first time and have him refer to me as "sweetie, baby or anything derogative". Yes, I may be old fashion, but how can you call me any of those and you don't know me and I don't know you? But if I was your woman and you were my man, I would love to be called your "Boo, sweetie, baby, honey, etc". Do any other woman have a problem with this or is it just me? Men if you can feel where I'm coming from, feel free to give your opinion. less...

I understand that in the South, people call one another sweetie and honey all the time. As a matter of fact, I say it when I address a young person that I don't know. But when a man is getting to know me in a way that may lead to a relationship, calling me that feels uncomfortable. One reason is because in dating, those names are terms of endearment. Using those terms before we get to know one another sound like fake flattery. It makes me think that he is not sincere.

i dont mind, only because i know how embarassing it is to forget someones name. but online its unecessary, especially at first. Maybe it can feel disrespectful, but it is just a personality difference. Some people are more easily offended. I think hey, you are pretty enough to be selective, forget the guy who calls u baby, and wait for the one who makes u feel good from that first conversation!

I too prefer that I not be called such things right at the start. To me pet names imply a familiarity when we really don't know each other yet. But yes, well into a relationship I will call that special man "honey" and appreciate the same in return now and then too. As far as online friends, I usually always ask what my new friend likes to be called and abide by his/her wishes.

as a man.. i don't bother at all.. but i won't call a women 'babe, sweetie or honey,etc' if i didn't really know them.. that's totally disrespect!

I depends on the context of the situation. lougenessis is correct us older Southerners (40) and above were brought up to use those words in every day social situations .How ever in a modem PC era of today they have fell upon disuse and have a now negative connotation. I don't mind If I know the person, but would prefer not to be addressed that way by Jane Doe from off the street that I do not know.

I live in Texas and have been called by strangers, sugar and baby and have accepted it, it doesn't bother me at all. I personally think it's a southern thing. Where I work, if a minor is running around or being unruly, there's nothing to stop me for saying, Baby, don't do that; Baby where's your momma, etc. But there's one word you can't call me and that's Momma, I'd stop any person mid sentence and say either I'm too young to be your Momma or I have only one child and you're not it.

I guess I'll have to take a second and stand up for the other side of this issue, especially since I am guilty of it myself. I have no problem with the use of those terms, especially since I am guilty of using them myself. When walking through a crowded room, I often say "excuse me hon" as I am trying to pass by someone, or when someone serves me, such as a waiter or bartender or whatever, I find I may automatically say "Thanks babe" It's not meant as a derogatory statement a  more...

I guess I'll have to take a second and stand up for the other side of this issue, especially since I am guilty of it myself. I have no problem with the use of those terms, especially since I am guilty of using them myself. When walking through a crowded room, I often say "excuse me hon" as I am trying to pass by someone, or when someone serves me, such as a waiter or bartender or whatever, I find I may automatically say "Thanks babe" It's not meant as a derogatory statement and it's not meant to be intimate, it's just a habit for me. I have always used these terms. Perhaps I may TRY to remember that not all people take these terms the way that I do (especially after reading your comments), and I may try to change my verbage. Personally, if a man is going to give me a nickname, I prefer he use something a bit more personal than hon, or babe, and perhaps that is why those terms are so easy for me to use on strangers!! But thanks for the insight. less...

LOL Aimee

I agree, before 3 months you need to use either my screen name or my real name if I decided to give it to you. After that time and ONLY if we are in a relationship, should those names be used.

That being said, I have been known to give nick names from time to time, but it's based off of their screen name. And I ALWAYS ask if I can do it.

I HATE, HATE, HATE when a man addresses me as "baby". I find it insulting especially when I don't know him. I asked him not to address me that way because I felt it was disrespectful. His reply to me was that I needed to see a "head doctor" because there was something wrong with me. Imagine that!!!

Quoting: Originally posted by quietnlonely Maybe it's me, but I don't like to meet a guy for the very first time and have him refer to me as "sweetie, baby or anything derogative". Yes, I may be old fashion, but how can you call m...

Hi quietnlonely,

I totally agree with you. They should use your name. There is a degree of disconnection when guys use ambiguous terms. I usually tell them that my mom and dad did not name me "sweetie" or "hun" and I prefer be  more...

Quoting: Originally posted by quietnlonely Maybe it's me, but I don't like to meet a guy for the very first time and have him refer to me as "sweetie, baby or anything derogative". Yes, I may be old fashion, but how can you call me any of those and you don't know me and I don't know you? But if I was your woman and you were my man, I would love to be called your "Boo, sweetie, baby, honey, etc". Do any other woman have a problem with this or is it just me? Men if you can feel where I'm coming from, feel free to give your opinion.

Hi quietnlonely,

I totally agree with you. They should use your name. There is a degree of disconnection when guys use ambiguous terms. I usually tell them that my mom and dad did not name me "sweetie" or "hun" and I prefer being called by my name. Sometimes they recoil and say it's a term of endearment. To which I reply that we just me, there is no endearment and you're not getting any from me. :-D

It's not just you, it's RUDE, Let me repeat that and put it in terms of the Late, Great George Carlin.

Words NOT to say to a woman before the three month mark:

Sweetie
baby
hon
lover
sweet cheeks
darlin
Hey you
honey

These come to mind if anyone has any others Please add to the list for the guys.

I can understand that they don't want to call you by a different name in the beginning. BUT I'm sure that we would understand if you're just out of a bad relationship. You would understand if I called you by another guys name right? :-0 hehehehehehehehe


Aimeefla less...

I too do not like it. Gives a sense of familiarity that has not been established, as well as a form of possession.

Qadesh

I think it has to do with where the guy is from. If he is from the south, this is just the way we talk... we call everyone sweetie, sugar, hon, etc.... guess it's that southern hospitality thing... doesn't bother me, but that's just me.

No its not just you.
It makes me feel like they cant remember my name and that I am just another face in a list of many.
Also it takes it to a personal level that has not been established as yet.
I too like to reserve this for the special man in my life.